There was an article today in one of the newspapers asking if being parents made people happy (sorry in Norwegian, and the title literally means ‘Crushers of Happiness’).  Basically, it was a bunch of studies asking people if they felt they were happier after having kids.  My wife and I have been having this discussion about life with our two boys, and it always ends with the statement – “But I’m soooo appy”.  Happiness is relative, like all things in life.  Hand on my heart, I am a happy fellow, content with my lot in life at the moment.  At the moment is the key term here, since it is all about to end.

OK – I’ll admit to playing a drama queen at the moment, but due to statistics and probabilities, I now find myself in a situation that is perfectly described by this short little clip.  Yes, casamuthanna is expanding by 1.  Max as he/she is temporarily being referred to will be making an appearance sometime in June.  My dear mother is coming to visit around the same time – or should I say, coming to help with the chaos that shall come to define our lives.  This leads to a slight problem.

Namely, where does one put an extra adult or two in the zoom-zoom?  Also, the fact that while it can fit three seats in the rear, it’s not exactly convenient when it comes to strapping the young uns in.

So, with a heavy heart, we have to let zoom-zoom go.  And trust me, in this country, given the prices of cars, and the general Norwegian taste for vehicles, Zoom-Zoom was my perfect car.

Zoom-Zoom was a late 2007 model Mazda 6 wagon.  I picked her up brand spanking new  exactly 3 years ago, just as Mazda was releasing the new model (read fatter) after trading in our previous zoom-zoom which was Tone’s Mazda Protégé.  We imported that baby (the Protégé) from the US, and it was a peach to drive what with a 1.8l 127hp engine, it really went zoom-zoom.  But, with the addition of kid number 1, a wagon was needed, and after eliminating the VW Passat wagon on account of price, and the Toyota Avensis on account of the wife and I having a pulse (yes, it was that pathetic and dull to drive – sorry if you drive one), Mazda it was.  The two pics above show her in her winter and summer garb, and she is a hoot to drive.  Yes, she’s an oil burner, a 2.0l 127hp lump, but with lots and lots of torques (320-340 Nm).  She had a 6 speed manual box, and a dash that was asking you to go fast.

You want more proof of her “made for drivers” ethos?  How about this.

These are your standard three pedals.  Go fast on the right, control on the left, and a minor little pedal in the middle to keep you out of trouble.  What’s so special about this you may ask?  This…

Heel and toeing!  The spacing on the pedals is perfect for a little heel and toeing.  You can squeeze the brakes, and dab the gas, and match the revs when you downshift with no problems.  Even in a diesel.  Try doing that in the Avensis, and all you get is unintended acceleration (see what I did there?).  In fact while we were test driving the cars, the wifey got into the Toyota after the Mazda and after about 5 minutes said, and I quote, “Driving this Avensis makes me want to commit suicide due to boredom”.  Even my kids enjoy the car and helped out with her every now and then.

Not everything about it is perfect.  The most glaring fault is even though it’s got an ample behind, it’s not exactly striking, and the rear tail lights have a certain ricer factor to it.

But the trunk/boot is spacious enough to carry all our katundu.

Note the rubber mats – rule number 1 when buying a car here is to make sure it has rubber mats on account of kids and weather.  Speaking of weather, living in Norway, snow makes an appearance every once in a while.

But she handled it with nary a complaint.  In fact, she used to regularly take us to lots of faraway places without once complaining or giving us problems.  There were numerous trips to Åre so that we could partake in some skiing.  She was also equipped with an engine warmer, and a cabin heater that you could plug in so that all the ice was thawed from the windows before you even stepped in.

And there were trips to the fjords of the west coast, where she needed a little help every now and then on account of her lack of floating abilities.

And she also made it to the southernmost point of the country.

I had plans of taking the same shot (minus the mother), all the way up at Nordkapp, but obviously that’s not going to happen (sniff).  She was a very welcoming car who had a 7 speaker BOSE setup with a sub to liven up the yard on a nice summer evening.

She was most appealing from the front, with eyes that made you look twice (Xenon lights FTW).

 

Her best quality though was how she drove.  With her summer shoes on, the suspension was stiff enough to hug the corners, and the torquey engine with the six speed just right for the twisties, and on the two lane highways for when you needed to pass.  Too good in fact, and she’s cost me one ticket worth about 500USD (ouch).  On the back roads, with those pedals, I know for a fact I have kids that do not get car sick :-).

In the three years we’ve had her, she’s driven only 36000 kms, so she’s still pretty much new.  She’s averaged about 0.5l/10kms or 47mpg, which is pretty darn good for a full sized car.  In 6th, at 90 she’s pulling about 1500 rpm – got to love diesels for that.

She did need a chin job though.  Lost a fight with a hidden ice clump hidden in a snow bank in a parking lot.

But that was fixed up with no problems.

So, tomorrow, we’re going to trade her in for a different set of wheels.  Our options are sparse.  Our options are not good.  But what can we do?  In a country where they have a 100% tax on cars, happiness is bloody expensive.  Wait, I’ll be a bit more specific – motoring happiness is really bloody expensive in Norway.  It’s a perfect country for motoring nirvana, given it’s winding roads around breathtaking scenery, and yet, the rules and regulations try really hard to make driving a mundane task of getting from A to B.  Actually, they succeed in doing exactly that.  So, to that, I have to bid farewell to zoom-zoom and with that, a little bit of the happiness in my life as well.

If those researchers from the article previously were to question me now, I think you can guess what my anser would be :-).

Yes, I’m a drama queen, and insane.  If you read this far, I apologize for wasting your time.  If you get what I’m saying, shed a little tear for me.

Hello loneliness…(to be revealed tomorrow).